Written by Paul Nunn
Swansea Golf Club Results 8th August 2020
Today was a stableford event played in near perfect conditions. The course was again presented in excellent condition.
Overall Winner Len Evans 41.
Div.1 Winner Steve Dart 38 c/b, Runner Up Stuart Moore 38
Div.2 Ray Dart 36, Runner Up Gavin Todd 35.
Nearly but not good enough Jason Kerrison 37, Max Hall 36, Paul Nunn 36.
Nearest the Pin 6th/15th Len Evans 8th/17th Jason Kerrison.
Super Pins 4th/13th Stuart Moore, 7th/16th Steve Dart
Wednesday 5th August 2020
Ladies Mid-Week. No Play due to poor weather
Chicken Run (Scores Only)
Wednesday. No play due to Rain.
Friday. Jan Darke 31, Putts Lee Bennett 12.
Pinehurst Sponsored by Swansea True Value Hardware
A young man, his father and his grandfather were about to tee off to start their round when an incredibly good-looking woman walked up to the tee box. "Would you like to join us and make a foursome?" asked the grandfather.
"I would, but on one condition," replied the lovely young woman. "I prefer to select my own clubs and make my own putts without advice from men. Every other time I've golfed with men, they try to give me advice. Will you agree not to give me advice?"
The men all consented in unison, none of them being particularly good players.
As they soon realized, this young woman was a fabulous golfer. She was getting par on every hole. The men were wondering who would have the nerve to give her advice!
On the eighteenth hole, the woman found herself facing a 35-foot putt, with a severe undulation on the green. She studied it, and studied it, and studied it.
Finally, she said, "Gentlemen, I'm very happy that none of you tried to give me advice before this. I've never played a round with men when at least one of them didn't try to give me some advice. Right now, if I make this putt, I'll have par for the course, and I'm asking for your advice. If you help me and I make this shot, I'll sleep with each one of you!"
The young man rushed over, studied the putt, and said, "You have to aim for that small bush to the left of the hole, that should be the right break!"
The father ran over and studied the putt, then said, "No, I think you should aim at the knot on the log to the left of the hole, and that will be the right break!"
The grandfather walked up to the ball. "Heck," he said, calmly picking up the ball, "that's a gimme."
Written by Paul Nunn
Swansea Golf Club Results 1st August 2020
Today’s event was stroke play for the August Monthly Medal played in more common conditions, slightly cool and slightly windy.
Monthly Medal Winner Lyn Lyne 59
Div.1 Winner Jack Hardcastle 61, Runner Up Sally Siepen 63 c/b
Div.2 Mike Woolveridge 60, Runner Up Val Kemp 63,
Nearest the Pin 6th/15th Sally Siepen, 8th/17th Rick Dance, 9th/18th Ricky Wright.
Super Pins 4th/13th Ricky Wright, 7th/16th Lyn Lyne.
Wednesday 29th July 2020
Ladies Mid-Week Eclectic
18 Holers Winner Jan Darke 22 c/b, Runner Up Val Kemp 22 c/b, Lee Bennett 22.
9 Holers Winner Sally Fletcher 19, Runner Up Helen Hall 17.
Nearest the Pin 18 holers 6th Jan Darke, 9th Jan Darke. 9 holers 8th Karen Moran, All Comers 7th Sally Siepen.
Birdies Jan Darke, Gobblers Dot Morey, Val Kemp.
Chicken Run (Scores Only)
Wednesday. Barry Skeggs 30, Keith Breheny 31, Putts Chris Weeding 12.
Friday. Ian Johnson 28, Lyn Lyne 30, Barry Skeggs 30, Ricky Wright 30, Ray Flynn 30, Putts Ray Flynn 12.
The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from the prime minister of Israel.
"Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "The Israeli prime minister wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."
The Pope thought it was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his life. "Have we not," he asked, "a cardinal who can represent me against the leader of Israel?"
"None that plays golf very well," a cardinal replied. "But ..." he said, deep in thought, "what if we offered to make Jack Nicklaus a cardinal? We can offer to make him a cardinal, then ask him to play the Israeli prime minister as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."
Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Nicklaus was greatly honoured and agreed to play.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result.
"I have some good news and some bad news, Your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
"Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.
"Well, Your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous."
"There's bad news?" the Pope asked.
Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Woods by three strokes."