Published: Saturday, 25 July 2020 17:20
Swansea Golf Club Results 25th July 2020
A stableford event played in near perfect weather and the course was in great condition. Anyone who didn’t have 36 pts needs to look at what is on the end of the shaft.
Overall Winner Lyn Lyne 37
Div.1 Winner Jason Kerrison 33 c/b Runner Up Tim Bond 33
Div.2 Winner Max Hall 36 36 c/b, Runner Up Sally Siepen 36.
Nearest the Pin 4th/13th Gavin Todd 2nd/11th Rick Dance 9th/18th Jason Kerrison.
Super Pins 7th/16th John Quinn, 6th/15th Jack Hardcastle
Wednesday 22nd July 2020
Ladies Mid-Week Club Trophy Stableford
18 Holers Winner Pat Hardcastle 38, Runner Up Jan Darke 37 c/b, Kathy Dance 37.
9 Holers Winner Jenny Whittaker 22, Runner Up Helen Hall 17..
Nearest the Pin 4th Jan Darke, 7th Kathy Dance, 9 Holers 7th Di Garcia, 8th Helen Hall.
Gobblers Kathy Dance X 2, Jan Darke, Di Garcia.
Chicken Run (Scores Only)
Wednesday ; Max Hall 31, Ian Johnson 31, Putts Ian Wallace 14.
Friday; Jan Darke 29, Putts Jan Darke 14.
Jim-Bob showed up at his golf club one day to discover that the club had begun a program using seniors as caddies. One day a week, the club replaced all its regular caddies with senior citizens.
"It's a new program," the club starter explained. "All the seniors we hired live at the old folks' home down the road. But they are in terrific physical shape, and we're just trying to help them earn a little extra money, get some exercise and stay young."
That sounded like a noble idea to Jim-Bob, so he set off to the first tee with his 75-year-old caddie. When Jim-Bob finished up on No. 18, the starter asked him how it went.
"Well," Jim-Bob said, "my caddie was nice guy and he tried really hard. But his eyes were bad. He just couldn't see far enough to help me find all my shots."
The starter was apologetic. "I'm sorry. Come back next week and I promise I'll get you a caddie who can see just fine."
A week later, Jim-Bob returned. He headed to the first tee, and this time his caddie was 80 years old.
Jim-Bob was a little worried, but his concerns disappeared after his first tee shot.
It was booming drive, around 300 yards but a little offline. "Do you have it?" Jim-Bob asked, "I lost it in the sun." "Don't worry," the elderly caddie replied, "I saw exactly where it landed."
Jim-Bob and his caddie started up the >fairway in the direction where the old man said he'd seen the ball. But Jim-Bob started to get a little worried when they began wandering a bit, the caddie seemingly unsure of the exact location.
"What's the matter?" Jim-Bob asked, "I thought you said you saw where it went."
"Oh, yes sir, I saw exactly where the ball went," the caddie replied.
"Then where is it?"
The caddie replied, "I forgot."
Published: Saturday, 11 July 2020 18:02
Swansea Golf Club Results 11th July 2020
A super field contested a 4 person Ambrose event in fine conditions, generously sponsored by RD & KA Dance builders.
Gross Winners Rick Fulton, Mat Gall, Dale Williams, Lee Bennett 55.
Nett Winners Chris Weeding, Steve Kenny, Tony Johnstone, Peter Lea, 47.5
Nett Runners Up Rick Wright, Vickie Wright, Tim Bond, Laurinda Bond, 48.25
Bradman Award Lyn Lyne, Barry Skeggs, Max Hall, Sally Siepen, 55.75
Nearest the Pin 2nd/11th Rod Smith, 4th/13th Mike Woolveridge, 6th/15th Rod Smith
8th/17th Tim Bond.
Super Pins 7th/16th Paul Nunn, 9th/18th Rick Fulton
Longest Drive Men Peter Lea, Ladies Lyn Lyne
Straightest Drive Men Steve Dart, Ladies Laurinda Bond.
Wednesday 8th July 2020
Ladies Monthly Medal – Stroke
Another great field participated in both the 18- & 9-Hole events.
18 Holers Winner Lyn Lyne 62 Runner Up Kathy Dance 64 c/b, Jo Whelan 64.
9 Holers Winner Sally Fletcher 25, Runner Up Dot Morley 35.
Nearest the Pin 5th Sally Siepen, 7th Sally Fletcher, 8th Lyn Lyne.
Birdies Lyn Lyne
Gobblers Hellen Hall.
Chicken Run (Scores Only)
Wednesday; Chris Weeding 29, Ray Flynn 31, Mike Woolveridge 31, John Quinn 31, Ian Wallace 31. Putts Ray Flynn 13, Tim Bond 13.
Friday; Ray Flynn 29, Gavin Todd 30. Putts Ray Flynn 11.
On the first tee, John turns to Dave and says, “Play for $10?” Gary agrees, and they start their round.
The lifelong friends reach the 9th tee with John ahead by one. After Dave hits a great drive, right down the middle, John steps up and promptly hooks it into the deep rough and trees.
They look and look and look, but no ball can be found. The three-minute time limit on searching for lost balls is about to run out. John takes a quick glance over to Dave to see if he is looking, then reaches into his pocket and drops a new ball into the rough.
“Found it!” John says triumphantly.
Dave looks at his friend with great disappointment. “After all the years we’ve been friends,” he says, “you’d cheat at golf for a measly 10 bucks?”
“What do you mean ‘cheat’?” John replies. “I found my ball sitting right here.”
Dave lets out a heavy sigh. “And you would lie to me, too? All for a tiny sum of money? You would cheat me and lie to me, for what? For $10? I can’t believe you’d stoop so low.”
John replies: “What makes you so sure I’m cheating and lying?”
“Because,” Dave replies, “I’ve been standing on your ball for the last three minutes!”